Fanfic Writers
When I am emperor, I will force everyone who has written fanfic and posted it on the Internet to pass an English composition class, though perhaps French if there are francophones who write fanfic. Then they will have to diagram their plots, themes, character developments, and sentences. Those who are not weeping by then will either have to rewrite their stories so they're actually passable as fiction and not wish-fulfillment fantasies (and the ones involving video game characters are the worst, although the ones based on television shows for children are also very disturbing) or I will offer them low-paying jobs writing for television (but not the new seasons of Firefly, Futurama, or Angel, because they'll be cool).
If it's better than what we get now, great. If not, well, more people will make fun of it, so I'm happy.