I am not:

My stuff:
my primary webpage my Résumé PGP/GPG key Hurricane/Volcano imagery Illiterati Fanaticism
.wgz.org:
snafu tarball
.wgz.com:
snafu
Other stuff:
PerlMonks Use Perl; Slashdot Freshmeat Linux Weekly News EE Commandments
Publications:
BSD Hacks hack #65 Perl Hacks hack #42

an Analytical Chemist (I'm not even Australian)
likewise, one of two Registered Chiropractors in Armidale
a concerned resident of Randburg, South Africa (I didn't go to high school in Alexandra, either)
a search and rescue border collie
a present or former inmate seeking early release under an early-release substance-abuse treatment program. I have no intention of becoming an inmate, either.
a figure skater
in a defunct band
a German Racquetball Player
someone looking for an example of an IT OLA, but I have reviewed several TPS
a successful graduate of a Catholic school in Missouri

Now, if you see my name on anything open-source related, that's probably me.