When I Am Emperor, I will punish...

People Who Use the Word Utilize

When I am emperor, I will punish everyone who uses the word "utilize" inappropriately by canonizing them. Whoops. I mean shooting them out of a cannon.

Doesn't it sound so much more impressive with the "ize" suffix? If you don't know what a word means, though, don't use it. That's why I will make a good emperor — I will have an empire-wide problem to decrease ambiguity in communication. It'll only take a few cannons to make my point.