When I Am Emperor, I will punish...

People Who Give Away Spoilers

When I am emperor, I will find the people who carelessly give away the plots of books, movies, television shows, and even interestingly-written cereal boxes and I will lure them with promises of "free barbecue, free beer" to my cannon firing range where my minions will shoot them out of cannons into wild blackberry patches. Then I will tell them, after the fact, that "free barbecue, free beer" is actually a euphemism for "shooting deserving people out of cannons".

I wouldn't want to spoil the experience, you see.